KillerStrawberry Hell… Looking back.

I started a project 12 years ago (when I was in my 20’s *) called ‘killerstrawberry hell’. They were a series of drawings that all joined together, and the idea was at the end of one level of drawings I then ventured up to the next level, which would then go along the top of the previous series of drawings, and so on (are you still following me?). 😂

All the drawings were connected and would have eventually formed one giant artwork, existing of 5 levels.

I finished level 1.

Level 2 was only 2 pages from completion and remains unfinished in a dusty sketch book.

When I started my business (KillerStrawberry) in 2006 my goal was to create a unique and colourful, ethical fashion brand. The 1st few years were just that, however due to some very thoughtless and rash decisions, things took a turn.

I was quite a confused young man to say the least, and very rarely connected to life (as life actually was) and mainly focused on my dream, my vision and of course partying! I lived quite a sheltered life and a very comfortable one. As an old friend once put it “Alan you live everyday with your head in the clouds”, my response – “ I like clouds”.

I suffered a few “unfortunate events” whilst living in London and I became very unwell. I did not know how to process or deal with the real anger and pain I was left with. I had no tools and no knowledge on what to do. This utter confusion came out in my art and the ‘Hell series’ changed shape.

I have recently revisited these old artworks, and though I can see and understand why they took a certain “course” I never realised the danger in my works. Much like my behaviour at the time, my words became reckless, detached and bitter. I am now aware that some of my metaphorical ramblings may have been quite harmful and hurtful. I never meant for things to get messy, and it was never my intention to hurt anybody…. however it was too late.

It came to be that I never finished drawing the further levels, but I did instead live them.

Today on 15th Dec 2020 I am currently working on 2 abstract paintings; my crucifixion piece (apparently every artist is allowed to do this once!) 😂. These are a symbolic depiction, and an ending to my “literal” KillerStrawberry Hell, and a milestone to a new chapter.

I am seeing colour again, I am seeing life as life is, and this time around I have wisdom, knowledge and passion. I am not trying to achieve a life goal, I am just creating art works. That’s who I am and what I do.

I lay little Strawberry down for a much needed rest now. He guided me well, strong and true.

Much love to you little Strawberry, I’m forever in your debt!

*I am now 39 years old! How the hell did that happen 😂

Me at London Edge 2009, holding up a picture of Camden I was working on at the time.

Author: alanburdettillustration

Artist 🧑‍🎨

5 thoughts on “KillerStrawberry Hell… Looking back.”

  1. I hope this isn’t weird, but I have been looking for you for years! I came across your Camden stall back in 2009(?) and I loved the Hell level one artwork. I recognise it was not a great story-path for you, I also had some bad times in London which is maybe why it resonated so much with me. One of my greatest regrets of my London era is not buying my favourite image, which was Strawberry and Camden finding each other under a tree, with some words which I think at the time broke my heart. I think about those images a lot, and every few years I think to google for them, but up until now I’ve never found anything recent. I thought maybe the story had a bad outcome. I am so glad to see that isn’t the fact, and that you’re doing well and making art again.

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    1. Thank you so so much for finding me and your kind words! It really means a lot! London can be a hurtful place, I love it and am happy to visit the city, but I shall never be living there again. I’m much more suited living near the sea and the country side! I hope your post-London life is joyful! Thank you again! ❤️Alan x

      It would be my pleasure to get a copy of the artwork you mentioned to you free of charge. Just email me and we can sort it ‘alanburdettillustration@hotmail.co.uk’

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh my days that would be amazing! Like a tying up of a long-dangling loose end. I’ll email tomorrow, but I insist on paying- art and artists have value ☆

        I’m far out of London now- I roamed the wilds Africa for a few years and now am also by the sea, in Sussex. It is a much gentler pace of life.

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